Picky Eaters: The Parent’s Perspective

Helping kids develop healthy eating habits.

How do we get our children to understand that eating healthy is good for them when sugary treats taste so yummy?

Children are bombarded daily - via television, radio, grocery store shelves, print ads, and more - with messages about what they should eat. Often those messages are the result of high powered marketing ads that are aimed at making money, not at creating genuinely healthy food for your kids. Children seem to be born as masters at manipulating their parents, and so when this skill is combined with the power of the ads that influence them daily, getting them to eat healthy can be a challenge.

Teaching healthy eating habits is a goal of most parents, but it can be full of challenges and obstacles. I was blessed with 2 amazing children that have taught me a lot about the challenges of dealing with picky eaters. My picky eater, Sam, starts each morning with a couple of bites of breakfast and then promptly moves on to relentless requests for candy. He is masterful to say the least, as are most picky eaters. They seem to be born with their instincts perfectly honed to know exactly how far to push us as parents; they know just when to cry, they know just how many times to ask, and they know just the right time to catch us...in a moment of distraction. You know, the moments when you will say yes to almost anything, without realizing what you just agreed to, because you are so focused on a particular task or deadline, or just desperate for a few moments of peace.

I have had good motivation to be alert to such tactics, as both my children are seriously impacted by some of the seemingly ‘harmless’ ingredients commonly found in junk food. I have spent the last 8 years learning to read labels and trying to gain an understanding of what is really in the foods my kids are eating. Any parent would be put on high alert if their children experienced night terrors as a result of eating red dye and this is exactly what occurred for my family. This personal experience was a blessing in disguise for my family as it put us on a path to healthy eating and has brought us tremendous awareness and benefits. In fact, it contributed to the creation of Bundles of Energy, which has begun opening the door to hundreds of people in transforming both their understanding of, and ability to, make the gentle shift to healthy, whole, natural foods.

My sons continue to educate me daily in how much there is to learn about raising kids and healthy eating. What worked on my older son typically does not work as well with my younger son, and so I am constantly on my toes creating or looking for new ways to keep him on track to eating well.

I want to help other parents out there with picky eaters by creating a series of blogs on my personal experiences. Stay tuned each week as I write about the actual techniques I have learned and developed to create success in dealing with these challenges. I encourage you to write comments to me with regards to your questions, concerns, or personal success stories, as it will be a learning opportunity for all of us.

Your Gentle Shift to Amazing Health

Making changes in your life can seem like the toughest challenge you ever take on; however, it is a very simple process. The nature of the human mind is such that we tend to make the process very difficult for ourselves.

As I write this article I am watching the 2010 Winter Olympics. It brings back many memories, the type you might refer to as bitter sweet. It is a lot like life in general-so many wonderful times and so many challenging ones. I am reminded of the times I had a ‘bad’ race as an Olympic Speed skater; a result that I would have given anything to change. As a successful athlete I was aware I had a choice though: stay stuck in the misery of a ‘bad’ race or look for the opportunity to learn from what occurred. I quickly realized that every experience is an opportunity; it is all a matter of my perspective.

In order to succeed at a high level in sport, you must achieve a mindset of looking for constant subtle changes. You make these changes in order to create the most consistent success and benefit in your performance. This premise can be applied to all areas of life: relationships, career, health, and more. It starts with an evaluation of what is working and what is not. When you are honest about what is not working, and you let go of the excuses that keep you stuck; you allow an opportunity to create change or a shift in your life. The steps you can take to begin creating such a shift in your life are as follows:

Step one: Create awareness: What is NOT working? What ever it is, you must be clear about what you want your life to be like right now. You must be specific about the elements of your life that you want to change; the areas where you would like to produce different results.

Step Two: What is your motivation for change? In other words, what do you REALLY want to experience? For example; do you want to participate in your favorite sport or to play with your kids without tiring? In order to be active and fit, you may consider the benefits of eating a healthy diet. Your desire to be active then becomes the motivation that inspires your actions – in this case, the action of eating healthy meals.

Step Three: What do you need to do in order to create space for change to occur in your life? As you let go of habits, or what is not working, you open yourself to change. We all have reasons and excuses, often very sensible ones that keep us stuck in patterns of behavior. As these patterns repeat themselves throughout our lives, it seems so difficult to change the things that do not work. The reality however, is that it is as simple as letting go of one reason or excuse, and creating a new possibility in it’s place.

In transforming the eating habits of my family, I found that it was unsuccessful to simply take something, like wheat, out of our diets. My focus was entirely on what I was eliminating. What was missing was not the wheat, it was the clarity about what I really wanted in its place. So I began researching meal ideas that ideas that allowed for a more gentle transition; I let go of my excuses (I had many), and I focused on finding options that would work to create balance between my needs and desires and those of my family.

My motivation was my children’s health; theirs was eating food they liked. I had to shift my focus to what we would eat. I began looking for fun, wheat-free recipes the kids would like. I slowly added new meals and gave my family an opportunity to get used to the new tastes. This created support as our focus shifted to the fun new tastes that were being presented. My own focus shifted to interesting new meal ideas, instead of the stress of changing our diets. When I added a meal or snack everyone enjoyed, they no longer missed the food that we were working to avoid. As I began to discover alternative foods to bring into our lives, I began to create a more subtle, lasting change in our eating habits.

I recognized at this point that I had let go of one more very important thing to allow me far greater sustained success; my excuses and my reasons for maintaining my habits. I no longer allowed my reasons for was not changing to stay in my way. I began asking different questions in my head. When I thought, “This is driving me crazy!” I shifted my thoughts and asked “What could I do differently here to create an experience I want?”

If you are ready to make a change in your life I recommend focusing on one key area at a time. Whether you want to eat better, get organized or make more money, you’ve got to be clear in your mind about the change you wish to achieve. You will only create what you do want when you start to focus on the result and take action to achieve that result. If you constantly focus on what you do not want, you will keep your energy and actions on your unwanted results and experiences, thus perpetuating them. You cannot change who you are, however you can change the way you approach things allowing new ideas to have space in your life.

What is the experience you really want as a result of making a change? The possibilities are endless…The results are far greater than any one desire or commitment for change. Be clear about what is the purpose for your change. Acknowledge what is keeping you where you are. Identify what you can do toward achieving that change and connect to the supports you require to be successful. What will be your first gentle shift?

Michelle Giangualano
Founder
Bundles of Energy
Olympic Speed Skater 1994, 1998